A few years back - I found myself stuck in a mental rut. Years of deep rooted family issues came to a peak - job insecurities and financial roller coasters, striving for perfection in a life of failures & unknowns as a parent - balancing marriage, work, and community - internal pressures I placed on myself - As a result, my mind was in a constant state of noise - without peace or passion - not living only surviving. I knew i was not walking in the freedom God so desires for us as His children. Physically I was healthy - strong - active - however, my mental health was dwindling. I kept asking myself ( and my community) - why can’t i get over it ? Where is this coming from ? I truly gave a good effort with all of MY power - which only caused more frustration. I needed more - I deserved more - my family deserved more - i wanted LIFE- Joy - healing - hope.
I made the call. I reached out - at first, i felt as if counseling couldn’t possibly help me - it was not for me - it was a label i did not want. However, I wanted to move forward, and this step was my next. After only one hour - one session- I was more aware than ever of all that I was constantly processing and how it was affecting my spiritual and mental outlook. I was stuck. God had brought me to a place where in order to move forward I had to go back to allow healing and to process. Years of suppressed hurt from a divorced family and unhealthy boundaries within family had brought me to a point of exhaustion, failure, anxiety - I had to learn - to retrain - to work new brain muscles to fight these tendencies. Through counseling I was led through healing prayers - God’s truths and love were spoken over me in new - life-changing ways. His constant presence revealed. Healing began. I could see freedom - Hope was renewed.
Your story may not be my story. Your needs not the same as my needs. But without a doubt - I know your mental health is as important to you as my mental health is to me. Our thoughts affect our lives - our families’ lives - God desires for us is to live in His freedom - in His constant peace and love. Counseling is a journey from which I have been able to see constant growth in myself - I am encouraged along the path God has laid out for me to live my best life. I am proud to say I see a counselor - I urge my friends to do the same Why ? Because our mental health is crucial - it gives us life over destruction - joy over hopelessness - love over fear.
let's face it - I am a terrible "selfie-taker." I am just not good at it. i cant figure out which way to look, so I either look distracted, confused - or like someone just yelled my name and looked right at the time of the pic. I abhor seeing my double chin that sometimes creeps up based on head position - just not my thing. Now- some of you girls- look professional in these pics - right angle, right filter - boom ! you got it -
But sometimes - what i really think is hard about taking a selfie- is just looking back at yourself - is that weird ? We all have an idea of "ourself" -- it can be true or untrue.
No different than thinking your makeup & hair are still looking "covergirl" - the same as when you walked out the door earlier that morning - until you don't recognize yourself in the mirror at work at 4 pm ? where did the mascara go ? how come i look like i have raccoon eyes ? The hair is no longer tame - Gone Wild -
So what about when we do take an inventory of our "self"? A true, hard, critical look at who we are - where are our flaws? Where do we need work ? How do others see us (good question- but hard to put out there sometimes)? There is no filter here - or soft focus to make it all seem perfect - just a long, good look at where can I be better ? Where does God want to grow me ?
Am i unhappy with what I am doing - but continuing out of habit and others' expectations of me ?
Am i saying "yes" to too much and feel scattered, hurried, and pulled - stealing my Joy?
Am i parenting from a place of presence - fully - or am i distracted - caught up in unnecessary drama ?
Am i intentional with those that i love the most ? Do they know how fiercely i adore and love them ?
Am i being a good steward of the material blessings God has given to me ?
Am i anxious more than i am not ? Have i let fear overshadow reality and my peace ?
Am i treating my body well enough to last me - and to keep me active ? Do i take the time for myself that i need to be abetter mother, wife, and friend?
Am i needing healing from old wounds - that are still causing me heartache ?
Am i putting off a dream due to self-doubt or because it just seems to "BIG"?
God wants to be invited in to what you see - He sees you, too - just the way you are - loves you the same
This post isn't meant to stress you out or to make you feel inadequate - or even to give you one more thing on your never-ending to do list - its more about taking the time to take a "selfie" - to check- in with yourself - and with your Heavenly Father - to see if there is any where He wants to provide healing - freedom - peace - love - to you -
But we have to take the time to slow down - and evaluate - not just keep running the same track - doing the same old motions that are preventing us for living out His "immeasurably more" that He has for us and our families-
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than we all ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work in us."
so - as hard as it may seem - i challenge you to sit down with yourself - be honest with yourself - and evaluate with no filters - to see where God has more for you -
God is Love. Jesus taught us to love. He loved. He loved ALL.
Those who followed Him.
Those who did NOT.
Those who listened to Him.
Those who turned a deaf ear.
Those who made fun.
Those who let him down.... repeatedly.
Sinners - like you & me.
He told us to love the same.
God asks us to love - it will be our love that heals, forgives, and directs the world to their Savior.
I find it easy to love - most of the time- when it seems natural - or deserved - or reciprocated.
But what about when it's not ?
"Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." Matthew 5:44
I do not believe this scripture only refers to the distant enemies - the stranger who offended you on social media - those who persecute Christians in far off cultures ( or even here in US) - He also asks us to love and pray for...
-the mother down the street that has offended you with her words on more than one occasion
-the coworker that slanders you to your peers
-your father that walked out on you for something/someone better
-the mother who critiques your every decision & tells you that you will never measure up
-the friend who used to be
-the child who calls your child "fat"
-the sibling that you once shared a room with that now has gone astray
Whoever - regardless of Whatever- We are asked to Love.
Love - in Jesus' Way - is not the "absence of hate"- instead it is a brotherly love - an act of the heart to WANT goodness - Salvation and healing- for others. Love is in those quiet moments of solitude when we feel the tap of the Holy Spirit and the urge to pray for our enemies - even when it hurts. Allow God to love through you - when your wounded heart (or ego) cannot seem to rally.
In this humble act - Hearts. Get. Changed.
Not our enemies - but OURS.
Love. Casts. Out. Fear.
You don't have to make everything right - you don't even have to forgive before you start to Love.
the rest will follow.
God's plan will follow.
Love withOUT expectations of reciprocation.
Love as God has asked us to do -
I am not usually a sentimental person, but this past week I have been a little more reflective --- and grateful for decisions of the past.
You see approximately 6 years ago Brad and I took a trip (one that he had won by chasing trophies in the corporate world) and we had 4 consecutive days to talk - to evaluate - to dream. At that time, we had a 5 y/o and 1 y/o - both working intense full-time jobs - preparing to start paying private school tuition for the next 18 years - living in a dreamy house (may still be my favorite floor plan ever !) So, these 4 days were an exception as we normally didn't have 60 consecutive SECONDS to talk. Brad was killin' it - hitting every mark at work - climbing the corporate ladder - he was promised promotion ---
We had it together - except for when we didn't! LOL - you know what I mean.
Anyways, during these 4 days, we truly asked each other some hard questions - How are YOU holding up? How are WE doing - as a couple, as parents, as individuals, etc. ?
And the unanimous answer ...
We were TIRED - we missed seeing each other - missed seeing our boys - didn't feel connected in our jobs - We at least agreed that we were missing ALOT. We were missing MARGIN - and desperately wanted it -
By "margin" - I mean the SPACE BETWEEN the "absolutes" - like attending school, work, our needs - and the " I should" or "we want to" - the sports, financial choices, the volunteer opportunities, etc
First, is acknowledgement of the problem, right? Next , What ya gonna do about it ?
We are no longer children who can only tag along to where ever our parents drag us - we are not just passive recipients of someone else's desires or schedules. We can make changes. We can say "no" - really we can! We can lay activities down. We can walk away from a job. We can make a move.
So, for the Broxton family of 4, we prayed and made our desire for margin known to God. We wanted to flourish - to thrive..
Now, 6 years later- we sold our dreamy house that no one said would sell ( remember housing market 6 yrs ago) - we cut back our working hours - we desired for one of us to greet the boys each day off the bus - we traded in new cars - drove older cars. We paid down debt for financial margin (which i the gateway for ALL other types of margin) - and in turn, we created space for our family and ourselves. You gotta have space to grow - to stretch - to bloom - to be your BEST self.
I hope and pray this is where you find yourself and your family - with margin and breathing room in your daily schedule and life. I am beyond thankful for our past decisions - and we have been given "immeasurably more" in the margin by our Heavenly Father.
So, if you're not living within healthy boundaries, why not ? Are you getting self-worth from "busyness"? Do the quiet and still moments take more effort ? I am not sure where your limits are - but you know where you need margin. But I DO KNOW - you gotta MOVE to get margin - not like sell your house (or in our case , yes) - but you gotta take an active role to gain space -
Margin will NOT find you -- get after it !
Let God bless you in the space !
Lord, Refine Me
In different seasons, God chooses to bring us in - to refine us - to chisel away at our "human-ness." I think at times - this work can be done through situations we are placed in - or other times, we can ask the Lord - what He has for us ? To reveal to us where work needs to be done - or even better- is when other people point it out to us, first, then after hearing it (more than once for some us who are a little more resistant AKA stubborn) we choose to ask the Lord for help ---
I believe for purpose in this crazy life - God desires to reveal our purest - most Christ-like self - down to the most faceted and purest diamond we can be.
So to be real - my newest refinement came from two ways -a forced slow down from the "busy-ness" of life from a physical injury - and asking the Lord what He has for me in this time. He has revealed to me that the "area" that needs work - or even more so needs Him - is DISCIPLINE - SELF-CONTROL - SELF_DISCIPLINE -
How did I know this answer is Divine ?
3 main reasons
1. This is one of my husbands top 5 Strengths - and it is the one that can feel like fingernails on a chalkboard to me so i would not necessarily wish it upon myself.
2. It is NOT my natural way to live - so it WILL take growth and reliance on the Lord.
3. I have come to be able to decipher the call of the Lord amidst all the other traffic in my mind.
"For the Spirit of God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7
I realize I am human - but even more specific to me - I am quick (not like athletic) - impulsive - I ADORE immediate results - in work, at home, with my kiddos, with my physical body - you get the idea. At times, this ACTIVATOR -
RESULT - driven, fast-paced mode can be a strength - but I am learning -
- I can skip necessary steps due to being in a hurry.
-I can be impatient with those people who analyze and are strategic.
-I can push for results when God only asks me to BE STILL & KNOW.
So - Self control vs Self-discipline. Self control is the immediate- like when I don't have emotional reaction to my husband when I feel as if he is questioning or advising me.
Self -Discipline is acquired over a period of time- a honed skill - I believe to be evidence of an ongoing relationship with the Holy Spirit - or like the life of an elite athlete - who has gotten to their pinnacle with days upon days of repeated efforts and strategic behaviors.
Currently, I feel like God is using this to teach me to be aware of HIs direction- in the BIG & small -
the small ...
-my response to a perceived (I emphasize perceived) verbal criticism/negativity
-my response to the resist the "itch" to be a gossip or to hold my tongue in a variety of situations (this is hard for me as my friends can attest to)
-my daily choice to make wise money decisions in light of future goals
-my willingness to resist the need for immediate gratification with material things
the BIG ...
GIVE MORE AWAY - LOVE, THINGS, & MY TIME
SHOW HUMILITY in relationships
LOVE WELL - LOVE DAILY
ENGAGE in the LORD DAILY
HOLD captive my thoughts
The ability to be more controlled/intentional in the little things- the daily things - establishes relationship and ongoing communication with my Teacher. I don't know if you can relate but there is a "Spiritual HIGH " (for lack of better term) that comes with going against the flesh and making the right decision - when you know the Lord intervened - because otherwise the human-ness or the flesh would have won. These moments are the evidence of Christ in our lives - of His constant refining to be more like Him if we only allow it - if we only ask for Him to show us where we need work.
So - for me - here's to being more disciplined and the work has only just begun - and for YOU --- Here's to whatever God has for YOU - and it may be the very thing someone pointed out to you today - or the very thing that drives you insane about others - but whatever it may be - I encourage you to lean in - to allow yourself to be transformed by the love and guidance of our Good Father -
God - Chisel Away to make me more like YOU - to better serve you and love you - I don't want to ever stop growing and changing towards You -
At the age of 38 (shhhh - don't tell anyone), I thought I had outgrown the squeeze of peer pressure - that was middle school, high school and college, right ? I am a confident, grounded "almost 40" year old woman - who is not only able to make good choices for myself - but I am also teaching my own middle schooler about the slippery slope of peer pressure - praying nightly (and daily) he doesn't succumb to it -
But I am not so sure I am immune to peer pressure -
I know 100% it exists - even in my current life stage - I know you know of its presence, too
A recent convo with my son Cole- (the middle schooler i was referring to earlier)
Cole - Mom - when can i have a cell phone? I will probably be the only kid in 6th grade without one -
Me- Not sure, buddy, We will make that decision as we go and when you do get one, it will not have internet capabilities, social media, etc - it will be basic.
Cole- How come others get one? - their parents think its ok.
BOOM - there it is - "Parental Peer Pressure" - make the choice because others are doing it - not sure it is even a real phrase - but it is as real as my love for donuts (krispy kreme to be exact)
"I hate for him to feel left out without a cell phone, so we got him one."
"He will miss out if we don't let him play that video game"
"It must be ok, because _________ lets _______ do it"
"We can't really afford it, but she'll lose time with her friends if we dont' do ________"
Do any of these sound familiar ?
As our parenting decisions seem to carry more weight or seem to have greater reaching consequences, I find myself explaining to Cole that Brad (the bearded husband I have referred to) and I don't make decisions because everyone else does. He will probably (or he may already) feel like he is swimming upstream -
We have and will continue to try and ex[lain to him we are often parenting against the flow - We will be "counter-cultural" quite a bit -
I know that having a cell phone, or social media is not a spiritual decision- but I do know it can become a "heart issue" - I know video games aren't of the devil - but they can steal our time and our relationships.
Many other decisions- choosing friends, which parties to attend, curfews, etc are on the horizon -
I am not saying our decisions are right for everyone _ that's actually what I am trying NOT to say - We want to make decisions based on our family values, ours sons' hearts and needs, Biblical wisdom- NOT on the scales of Parental Peer Pressure and the way the majority is flowing -
God has given me Cole & Camp ( our youngest ) specifically to help them grow into the men God crated them to be - to serve others- to love others well - At times, I have to remind myself I am not here to make them happy (or even to be their friend - that stage comes later) or even to make life an easy race - or to always step in to "catch" them - I AM here to guide their decisions - to teach them to make their own choices regardless of others- to help them build a foundation that cannot be shaken -
God - let me not regress to the shaky, uncertain days of adolescent peer pressure - but rather go BOLDLY & confidently in the upstream swim of parenting ---
Middle School Here we Come !!
Stop & catch your breath ! I feel as if we are in a constant sprint -We are in the midst of a super busy season of life, end of the school year wrap-ups, intense parenting, daily house chores, packing lunches, sports practice, work schedules--- it can all pile up just like the baskets of laundry stacked on my bed currently. So , as I sit down to write - to process - What reoccurring theme seems to keep coming into our conversation- What am I constantly saying that seems to be on "repeat"? What does God have for me to learn in my daily life - amidst the chaos and distractions ?
This school year has had its challenges for us - an abundance of family discussions, plans and prayer. Throughout this fifth grade year (23 days left to go & counting), my oldest son, Cole, has come home from school with head dropped and defeat on his shoulders. It has not been grades or trouble in the classroom- rather, the words of his peers have taken him down. You are slow. You are fat. You can't play baseball. You are not important to the team. Hurtful, sharp, defeating words have caused him to doubt himself. They have hurt him so he naturally wants to retaliate (and so does this Mama Bear). What do you say? Punch them one good time and they will learn their lesson - stick up for yourself - say hurtful words back -
repay evil for evil ???
Parenting is just plain tough. Answers are sometimes (most of the time) not easy- but isn't it amazing when the small people in our house teach us about the character and BIGness of God - when parenting changes us - forces us to reflect on our adult behaviors- God has given us his word to guide us and our own struggles as well. I have also been hurt by words - most severely by those closest to me. We have higher expectations for our family members or friends - for those who know us best - with whom we share our hearts and lives. I have confronted those who have hurt me, I have refused to speak to those who have hurt me - and I have retaliated with my own words as well. Where did that leave me? _ still hurt, controlled by their words, enslaved to sin - not centered in the approval and love of Christ which is where He desires for us to rest and be. But freedom has come to me in the forgiving, the conversations, the extension of grace to others - my need for others' approval has been lessened by my growing confidence in being God's daughter.
In a recent sermon series about the life of David, Andy Stanley stated, "Refusing to respond in like kind (evil for evil) may be the most Christ-like thing you EVER do." Remember the popular "WWJD" bracelets - What Would Jesus Do? As a Jesus follower, it is required (like in scripture) to return good for evil - that it what is asked of us. Extending mercy in not retaliating may be the first step - for Cole - mercy looks like not getting physical with his friends or saying hurtful words in return - but "Christ-like" looks like choosing to continue to be kind to them - helping them when they need it - encouraging his friends in their endeavors. As an adult - mercy is perhaps taking the step to forgive. Doing good is giving them your valuable time to listen or have coffee and conversation. Maybe its extending an invitation for continued relationship although you have been hurt. Being Christ-like in response to hurt is not the easy path - however, it is the path that we are asked to take - obedience in Christ.
Freedom is released when we can let go of others' actions or words that have caused us pain - it is a choice to live confident in our value in Christ - rather than relying on external influences for our approval. We hold securely to the favor and approval given to us only by our Creator - and we release others' words or actions - It is a choice to react - with mercy, grace, kindness, forgiveness - and although it seems unnatural - It truly is supernatural - It is being Christ-like - It is being remarkable - It is freeing.
For Cole - it has been a bumpy year - tears, doubts, frustrations - but I pray he can hold fast to Lord's favor and approval of Him - that he will not be chained to other people's actions or words. I ask God daily that his desire for others' approval will shrink - that his confidence in God will soar! As for myself- I hope I can live this out for him as well in my daily life - choosing good - choosing God's character - over evil
Calling ALL moms - working moms, stay at home moms, part-time working moms- DON'T listen to the lies - DON'T fall victim to "mom guilt" as a necessary constant. Lately, I have had many conversations with fellow Moms that all seem to revolve around comments like the following:,
" I hate I missed his/her game,"
" I feel so bad i haven't cooked homemade dinner in three nights."
" I hope I am doing enough."
" I get so impatient being at home with the kiddos all day."
Where is the grace and truth in these statements ? Where are we asking our kids to place all of their hope ? Do we have a false sense of control of outcomes ? Are we trying to be EVERYTHING to our children? Should we instead be pointing them to the One who is everything - and our Hope and Truth?
Raise your hand if you have ever let your kids down - or even in past 24 hours - and the crowd of moms goes WILD - of course you have and I have and we all have - and we will do it again. We are human. I believe this is unavoidable - but what can be different is how we allow shame, guilt, and lies to rest on our hearts as a result. "My grace is sufficent for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV) These feelings are of our Enemy - they come to steal and destroy . Constantly feeling the need to apologize, owning or wearing our child's emotions of disappointment, worrying we are not measuring up - this is not the freedom God desires for our hearts and they inhibit teaching moments and wisdom to be relayed to our precious children.
Why does God allow us to parent ? If I asked you what is one true slice of wisdom you want to give to your children - what would it be ? God wants our children to experience His vast, unconditional love, grace and His Hope from their earthly parents - it is just a taste of His Greatness! They have to learn He is Truth - He is ALWAYS Good - They can lean ALL of their weight on Him - He is better than you or me - He is in control - NOT me. I desire most that my boys, whether I am here or not, know love like no other from their Creator and they can lean and reside in His truth and goodness. This world - and their mom - will let them down - He is there when I cannot be.
Now - this all sounds a little fluffy at times in the midst of the craziness of daily life - I get that. So, what are some real steps in demolishing mom guilt (because it is definitely real and BIG) -
1. Community - Desire it, acquire it - live in it ! I am overwhelmed by the encouragement of women in my life - stay at home moms, working moms, part-time moms, women in other stages of life willing to mentor - They are my cheerleaders - and often times have to shout truth with megaphones ! They will point you back to truth when lies cloud you - and you will do same for them. Authentic (key word- be real) Mom friends - Go Get you some !
2. Foundation of truth - "Guide me in your truth, teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." (Psalm 25:5, NIV) . This truth is your center - not your children - not your family- Come back to this daily as a renewal of your mind. Their behavior, their outcomes, their choices are not all within your reach - He will guide you in parenting - experience the freedom of knowing they are better relying on Him than you - He is Good. He loves them more than you - and He loves you - even when you fail also - live this out for your children - let them see it, feel it - His freedom will be passed on.
3. Enjoy the ride - Be Present - when you are there - BE there- I can often tell when my mind is drifting during convos with my littles. Distractions are no joke - Kids are with us for a short time - put the phone down, put work on the shelf - cook an quicker dinner (no Southern Living recipes for me) - play a game - take a walk - you will feel better and they will too. Sometimes asking them how they know they are loved will provide insight in to how your time/money/actions are best spent with each individual person. (i love the 5 Love Languages for children test- super helpful!)
Lay the guilt down - seriously ! Know you are loved by the One who made you for a time such as this - for your kids - and know your Hope is in Him - you CAN let the reigns down and kick guilt to the curb!
I guess it is a matter of opinion if Disney World is truly one of the most Magical places on earth- it probably depends on if you like weaving through lines that seem to last a lifetime, being shoulder to shoulder with perfect strangers for eleven hours a day, or watching "little princesses and princes" have meltdowns around every corner- BUT don't let these things take away the MAGIC of it ALL - the heart dropping thrill of roller coaster rides that take you to other countries (or even outer space), the nostalgic rides that seat you right in the story of your childhood, the memories to be packed away for a lifetime with your family! No - this post is not about why you should book your trip, pack your bags, and head to Disney (although I think that would be a great idea) - it is about how God spoke to me while we were there.
You see - I love Disney - I love to travel period- however, I do NOT love the getting there - especially if it involves flying. I am not sure when I acquired the fear of flying - i flew quite a bit as a child and thought nothing of it other than super magical. I like to say - I became scared of flying when I became more rational or aware of the danger - I know all the things people say- safer than driving, planes rarely crash, blah blah blah - if you have ever had a fear - then you know rational thinking or statistics aren't the cure.
When we were planning the trip, all plans were to drive; however, my husband suggested flying for obvious reasons. I must admit my initial reaction was "no way" - but only for the reason that I was scared (which he knew). Interestingly enough, simultaneously, we have been walking through some fear with my 10 year old - and I had just told him, we can NOT and God does not want us to avoid fears- because avoidance fertilizes their growth, they inhibit our freedom in Christ, and the love of Christ casts out all fear - they cannot coexist. Did I hear you say , "Practice what you preach" ? I cannot ask my son to do as I say not as I do - and to steal away their joy of flying with my fear -
So, we flew. I was panicky (and praying)- the people, the body heat, the baggage, the heart stopping moment of take off - each and every little bump in the sky - the landing - AMEN - we landed. I knew I was walking through it - I did not want my boys to see their Momma scared - or crying in her aisle seat -
God spoke. Clearly - as I watched planes take off - Why are you scared ? What changed for you? I knew - as I grew older, more aware - more rational - I decided based on what I knew or could understand ( which is not much about mechanics, etc) flying is impossible. There is NO WAY this large machine with wings, carrying all these people and ALL their stuff (wow some people pack alot), should be able to be suspended in air for long distances and safely land. My child-like faith or belief had been take over with rational thinking - and there my fear was born. Isn't it the same way with God sometimes for us ? If we cannot make it, do it ourselves, or see it - how can we believe it exists or can happen? Our belief in the impossible as a child gets beat with reality - and man's ability - or inability. God's immeasurably more and omnipotence fall behind.
I have seen God work out what seemed impossible - large projects coming together for His glory, one person changing the lives of thousands, unexplainable provision in our most needy moments, healing of marriages that were broken beyond repair, saving those who were hopeless- Jesus defeating death on the cross - THE impossible - we can not and will not understand it with our limited minds- but we believe it and we can live knowing it is true.
Am i still afraid of flying ? I can't really say - but as God pushes me to know Him better - to not avoid fears- He is teaching me so much about His character - from His soft sweet whispers of "i've got you in this" to His ability to do the IMPOSSIBLE - I can fly !
For with God NOTHING shall be IMPOSSIBLE. Luke 1:37
Happy 2018 ! What happened to 2017 ? And just like that a New Year has begun (already 4 days in to it) ! God showed up for me in 2017 - as He always does - but He placed challenges, perhaps more like opportunities, in my path to choose to see His love, His healing - His goodness. I am seeing what Jesus wants to be to me - a Father - a Papa, a Healer - and this year, 2018 - His words for me are LAVISH Provision ! How do I know these are from God? Because these are two terms I don't normally use, think about, or associate with my Heavenly Father.
Let me be honest with you - I have often doubted His goodness due to the fact I have had some traumatic situations occur in my life and got stuck in fear, the "why," and dreading the next bad thing. Since maybe 2012 - or maybe since my childhood - I have struggled with fear - and it spread - it grew - avoidance only fed it and allowed it to grow overwhelmingly large at times. In 2017 - about midway through the year- I knew it was time - to go back and work through it - I was stuck and this is not what He had for me. So tip toe by tip toe- no BIG leaps- I have gone back- I have asked for revelations, healing, visions, comfort, His followers - and He has met me there at each and every request. Does fear creep up - does my mind like to revert to what it has always thought or done - of course it does because that's been my living place - But I now can see God there. Now it is becoming a place of peace! I can see His goodness regardless - I can feel him carrying me as a child in His arms. The love has become more real for me - the supernatural more natural. My obedience feeds His presence - drives my longings to grow and know more.
What will 2018 bring ? God knows. But I have opened my hands and given Him my year - I plan to do it as a family this weekend - I am hopeful - Lavish Provisions - of what ??? Love, opportunity, growth, peace- I want to see and learn of His abundant Goodness ask him for a word or a scripture for this upcoming year for your life - for where you are! Each DAY (Psalm 90:12), and for sure each of your years count to Him - they matter. He does not want 2018 to be a blur - He has plans - He has wisdom for you - He has GOODNESS for you - He wants it to be His and Yours together!
I would love to hear if you know what God is speaking to you over 2018 ! Happy New year !
a mid-thirties mom and wife seeking truth, peace and joy in my daily life. mom to two wild, snuggly, and fierce boys - and wife to my best friend and bearded man of my dreams. My joys are giving and receiving gifts (its my love language- not materialistic) - pushing my limits and extinguishing my stress in the workout room- serving others in the medical profession and in my community of friends . i love doing life with others - the phone calls on way to work, the couch discussions, the annual camping trips - My community of friends would tell you I am as authentic and outspoken as you can get - sometimes you can find my husband hiding behind a pillow! My parents thought I would always be a lawyer- I have a strong passion to get the last word - I just cant walk away. Marriage, Motherhood, and my walk with the Lord continue to push me, shape me, and change me. I pray this blog will bless just ONE - and the point to the ONE-