Just a few years back, I could not relate to my friends, patients or even my husband when they spoke of their overwhelming anxiety. My response, "It's okay, just turn it off. You are fine," Super helpful - I know! Well , now, I see it differently, I have been in the battle of light and dark. I have felt my heart pound uncontrollably, my muscles twitch, my breath shorten - I could NOT be OKAY - I was surrounded by darkness - Who turned the light off ?
There are days where I still fight this battle, but God has allowed me some victories. I am not sure at what point or what one life event (because it was a culmination of many) placed me in the middle of the battle. However, I now have a constant awareness of ongoing battle of light vs dark. A FIERCE war - not with the flesh- but with Satan - the dark. Fear and anxiety can be paralyzing, stifling, all-consuming, robbing, and overshadow all JOY - All working to hinder us from God's work. Surrendering or succumbing to the darkness HAS eternal consequences - for us, for our families, and for those God allows in our daily path.
"When a person is going through hard times, his mind wants to give up, Satan knows that if he can defeat us in our mind, he can defeat us in our experience, That's why it is so important that not lose heart, grow weary and faint."
- Joyce Meyers in Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind
To have fear is NOT to fail! We are there in the battle so God can meet us and lead us in the struggle to Provide us with HOPE when we can not see it. At times God may ask you to reach out for help in the arenas of counseling, community, even medications - give yourself permission to surround yourself with support and be authentic - the presence of fears and anxiety is not a reflection of the strength of your faith. You may be surprised by who else in is battle alongside of you. I have learned this is NOT a 24 hour turnaround - rather a process - a daily development - a daily CHOICE NOT TO SURRENDER - But to continue to advance towards enemy lines. Those around us cannot see or even comprehend the battle, but they can see the proof of our choice to fight and to choose LIGHT.
So CHOOSE LIGHT TODAY amidst the darkness.
Choose. To. Fight.
VIctory is ours in JESUS.
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."
It's 9pm you have finally made it to the couch - just in your favorite cozy spot - your finish line of the race of the day. You want to mentally check-out - get absorbed in some reality (not really) show to wind down and prepare for tomorrow's race. But if you are anything like me, your mind often goes elsewhere- a mental playbook of the day - assigning yourself a score. Did I yell too much today? Did I gossip? Did I spend money unnecessarily? Was I kind to my husband and family? Did I let anyone down ? Did MY day - as hurried, frantic, and busy as is seemed - Did it or did I make a difference ?
This mental journey is common for me. A full-time working mom of two strong, competitive boys- trying to fulfill my obligations - both those set FOR me by others and those self-inflicted. Busy! Busy! BUsy! How do I measure up?
It's not the question that may be the problem - rather, who do we expect to answer the question. Did I set out with clear focus today? Did I obey my Heavenly Father? Did His tasks come first or did He get my puny leftovers?
Sometimes themes in the Bible may be too complex or BIG for me to securely grasp, but the clear instructions for our focus to be UPWARD & ETERNAL are firm and foundational. To Live the Resurrected LIfe - to be born again- is a daily rebirth - an active re-focusing or re-aligning ourselves with God's work. A setting aside of the "busyness", quick service idols, time-thieves of our daily lives. We are not capable of praying for this renewal once - but presenting ourselves in daily prayer with a resetting of our heart - as if nothing has been done the day before -
"Relying on God has to begin all over again everyday as if nothing had yet been done." - C.S. Lewis
Here in lies the theme or title of this blog that God so placed on my heart - relentlessly. Everyday Eternity - the idea of how would our days look different if we asked, "What will I do today for Eternal outcomes?" Choose love over hate - service over selfishness, grace over guilt - for others and myself. God wants more from us and IMMEASURABLY MORE for us - His Children. He wants to be the proud Father to answer our questions at the end of each day - "How did I do today?"
"Well done - good and faithful servant."
Ask. Him. What can I do to further Your Kingdom today?
a mid-thirties mom and wife seeking truth, peace and joy in my daily life. mom to two wild, snuggly, and fierce boys - and wife to my best friend and bearded man of my dreams. My joys are giving and receiving gifts (its my love language- not materialistic) - pushing my limits and extinguishing my stress in the workout room- serving others in the medical profession and in my community of friends . i love doing life with others - the phone calls on way to work, the couch discussions, the annual camping trips - My community of friends would tell you I am as authentic and outspoken as you can get - sometimes you can find my husband hiding behind a pillow! My parents thought I would always be a lawyer- I have a strong passion to get the last word - I just cant walk away. Marriage, Motherhood, and my walk with the Lord continue to push me, shape me, and change me. I pray this blog will bless just ONE - and the point to the ONE-