A few years back - I found myself stuck in a mental rut. Years of deep rooted family issues came to a peak - job insecurities and financial roller coasters, striving for perfection in a life of failures & unknowns as a parent - balancing marriage, work, and community - internal pressures I placed on myself - As a result, my mind was in a constant state of noise - without peace or passion - not living only surviving. I knew i was not walking in the freedom God so desires for us as His children. Physically I was healthy - strong - active - however, my mental health was dwindling. I kept asking myself ( and my community) - why can’t i get over it ? Where is this coming from ? I truly gave a good effort with all of MY power - which only caused more frustration. I needed more - I deserved more - my family deserved more - i wanted LIFE- Joy - healing - hope.
I made the call. I reached out - at first, i felt as if counseling couldn’t possibly help me - it was not for me - it was a label i did not want. However, I wanted to move forward, and this step was my next. After only one hour - one session- I was more aware than ever of all that I was constantly processing and how it was affecting my spiritual and mental outlook. I was stuck. God had brought me to a place where in order to move forward I had to go back to allow healing and to process. Years of suppressed hurt from a divorced family and unhealthy boundaries within family had brought me to a point of exhaustion, failure, anxiety - I had to learn - to retrain - to work new brain muscles to fight these tendencies. Through counseling I was led through healing prayers - God’s truths and love were spoken over me in new - life-changing ways. His constant presence revealed. Healing began. I could see freedom - Hope was renewed. Your story may not be my story. Your needs not the same as my needs. But without a doubt - I know your mental health is as important to you as my mental health is to me. Our thoughts affect our lives - our families’ lives - God desires for us is to live in His freedom - in His constant peace and love. Counseling is a journey from which I have been able to see constant growth in myself - I am encouraged along the path God has laid out for me to live my best life. I am proud to say I see a counselor - I urge my friends to do the same Why ? Because our mental health is crucial - it gives us life over destruction - joy over hopelessness - love over fear. #breakthestigma #talkaboutit
1 Comment
4/29/2020 10:52:43 am
My family is also the reason why I struggled with my mental health during my college years. I tried to fight back the thought that my family was causing me pain because I did not want to seem ungrateful. However, the more that I tried to deny it, the more that it became evident that I was not okay. It was hard to open up to my family that they were the cause of my depression, but I did because I knew it was what I needed to do to have the peace of mind I was craving for. I am glad I told them because they were also the ones who assured me that my thoughts and feelings were valid and they apologized for ever making me feel like I am inferior to them.
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Me?
a mid-thirties mom and wife seeking truth, peace and joy in my daily life. mom to two wild, snuggly, and fierce boys - and wife to my best friend and bearded man of my dreams. My joys are giving and receiving gifts (its my love language- not materialistic) - pushing my limits and extinguishing my stress in the workout room- serving others in the medical profession and in my community of friends . i love doing life with others - the phone calls on way to work, the couch discussions, the annual camping trips - My community of friends would tell you I am as authentic and outspoken as you can get - sometimes you can find my husband hiding behind a pillow! My parents thought I would always be a lawyer- I have a strong passion to get the last word - I just cant walk away. Marriage, Motherhood, and my walk with the Lord continue to push me, shape me, and change me. I pray this blog will bless just ONE - and the point to the ONE- Archives
November 2018
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