I don't know if you are a little like me - but I often struggle with calling myself a "sinner." On most days, I feel like an "okay" person or pretty decent person. I have never been to jail; I dont have alot of enemies (that I am aware of); I try to be giving, understanding, and likeable. I feel like I can usually make a good choice - or do the right thing. Personal labels such as friend, wife, mom, hard-worker, good listener are affirming to me - but a SINNER - not so much!
But it is the truest label of me - its roots run all the way to beginning of mankind and of me - it is who i was first, before ... Before I was saved. I grew up in Church, heard of God's grace, forgiveness, and since since I was in the nursery at First Baptist Church. So, my story does not have 180 degrees moment - or pivotal turn from a life ravaged by sin, addiction, darkness. I walked down the Church aisle at age of 12 - to the hymn of "Turn your eyes upon Jesus" - a sinner in need of a Savior then - a SINNER now -
A relationship with our Savior - and relationships with a God-focused community are the urge for us to grow. In these conversations- we can see the reflections of our sinful ways. We are able to stir our dirty hearts, our ugly feelings, our selfishness, our need to REPENT.
"Even now - this is the Lord's declaration -
turn to ME with all your heart, with fasting, weeping, mourning. Tear your hearts, not just your clothes, and return to the Lord your God. For He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, rich in faithful love, and He relents from sending disaster." Joel 2:12-13
Not just the open/ blatant sins that are so visible to those around us - but those deep hidden crevices - where jealousy, anger, impatience, greed, and selfishness reside and proliferate. God desires and commands for us to repent - to pivot- from sin - to move towards Him. In those humbling moments of weeping alongside of Jesus over our sins - He works IN and ON us to complete His work. I AM A SINNER - WHO NEEDS TO BE SEARCHED - SAVED! Gods grace awaits me!
Pray. Search. Confess. Repent. Receive.
Search my heart OH God !
a mid-thirties mom and wife seeking truth, peace and joy in my daily life. mom to two wild, snuggly, and fierce boys - and wife to my best friend and bearded man of my dreams. My joys are giving and receiving gifts (its my love language- not materialistic) - pushing my limits and extinguishing my stress in the workout room- serving others in the medical profession and in my community of friends . i love doing life with others - the phone calls on way to work, the couch discussions, the annual camping trips - My community of friends would tell you I am as authentic and outspoken as you can get - sometimes you can find my husband hiding behind a pillow! My parents thought I would always be a lawyer- I have a strong passion to get the last word - I just cant walk away. Marriage, Motherhood, and my walk with the Lord continue to push me, shape me, and change me. I pray this blog will bless just ONE - and the point to the ONE-