At the age of 38 (shhhh - don't tell anyone), I thought I had outgrown the squeeze of peer pressure - that was middle school, high school and college, right ? I am a confident, grounded "almost 40" year old woman - who is not only able to make good choices for myself - but I am also teaching my own middle schooler about the slippery slope of peer pressure - praying nightly (and daily) he doesn't succumb to it -
But I am not so sure I am immune to peer pressure -
I know 100% it exists - even in my current life stage - I know you know of its presence, too
A recent convo with my son Cole- (the middle schooler i was referring to earlier)
Cole - Mom - when can i have a cell phone? I will probably be the only kid in 6th grade without one -
Me- Not sure, buddy, We will make that decision as we go and when you do get one, it will not have internet capabilities, social media, etc - it will be basic.
Cole- How come others get one? - their parents think its ok.
BOOM - there it is - "Parental Peer Pressure" - make the choice because others are doing it - not sure it is even a real phrase - but it is as real as my love for donuts (krispy kreme to be exact)
"I hate for him to feel left out without a cell phone, so we got him one."
"He will miss out if we don't let him play that video game"
"It must be ok, because _________ lets _______ do it"
"We can't really afford it, but she'll lose time with her friends if we dont' do ________"
Do any of these sound familiar ?
As our parenting decisions seem to carry more weight or seem to have greater reaching consequences, I find myself explaining to Cole that Brad (the bearded husband I have referred to) and I don't make decisions because everyone else does. He will probably (or he may already) feel like he is swimming upstream -
We have and will continue to try and ex[lain to him we are often parenting against the flow - We will be "counter-cultural" quite a bit -
I know that having a cell phone, or social media is not a spiritual decision- but I do know it can become a "heart issue" - I know video games aren't of the devil - but they can steal our time and our relationships.
Many other decisions- choosing friends, which parties to attend, curfews, etc are on the horizon -
I am not saying our decisions are right for everyone _ that's actually what I am trying NOT to say - We want to make decisions based on our family values, ours sons' hearts and needs, Biblical wisdom- NOT on the scales of Parental Peer Pressure and the way the majority is flowing -
God has given me Cole & Camp ( our youngest ) specifically to help them grow into the men God crated them to be - to serve others- to love others well - At times, I have to remind myself I am not here to make them happy (or even to be their friend - that stage comes later) or even to make life an easy race - or to always step in to "catch" them - I AM here to guide their decisions - to teach them to make their own choices regardless of others- to help them build a foundation that cannot be shaken -
God - let me not regress to the shaky, uncertain days of adolescent peer pressure - but rather go BOLDLY & confidently in the upstream swim of parenting ---
Middle School Here we Come !!
a mid-thirties mom and wife seeking truth, peace and joy in my daily life. mom to two wild, snuggly, and fierce boys - and wife to my best friend and bearded man of my dreams. My joys are giving and receiving gifts (its my love language- not materialistic) - pushing my limits and extinguishing my stress in the workout room- serving others in the medical profession and in my community of friends . i love doing life with others - the phone calls on way to work, the couch discussions, the annual camping trips - My community of friends would tell you I am as authentic and outspoken as you can get - sometimes you can find my husband hiding behind a pillow! My parents thought I would always be a lawyer- I have a strong passion to get the last word - I just cant walk away. Marriage, Motherhood, and my walk with the Lord continue to push me, shape me, and change me. I pray this blog will bless just ONE - and the point to the ONE-